‘I assumed as we had already had a loss we would just sail through this pregnancy like before, but I was wrong. We had our 20 week scan at 21 weeks and all was going well until the nurse announced she ‘was not happy with the scan’…
Our first child came along with really no effort at all; we were so very lucky and fortunate.
Poppy was coming up to her 1st birthday when we discovered we were pregnant again, despite a recent loss at the very early stages of 6 weeks, not that long before this it seemed.
I assumed as we had already had a loss we would just sail through this pregnancy like before, but I was wrong. We had our 20 week scan at 21 weeks and all was going well until the nurse announced she ‘was not happy with the scan’.
Really this is where the loss began.
Numbness took over. My partner and I didn’t say a word. We just sat; it seemed, in our own thoughts. A second opinion backed up the fears of the first. The diagnosis was not good and our child would not live more than 2 weeks if indeed she made it that far. That weekend was the hardest time of our lives, but we decided to send her off to sleep.
When the day arrived, we hugged and cried so many tears before my partner went through the most traumatic and difficult experience I think a mum could ever go through.
My admiration is for my partner – her strength, her weakness and her love for the child she was losing was nothing but to be admired. I would like to say we went through it together and in some ways we did, but in so many ways we did not. A father’s role is so very different although important all the same. It’s still so very painful, we still shed tears, but we cannot feel the emptiness and loss the body has to endure.
This is where love comes in. I could not help myself in a time of absolute pain and heartache to love my partner even more. And then there was our little girl, fast asleep in our arms. You never really get to say hello and tell them you love them, but you do all the same.
Despite the reason for being there which was the worst reason ever, the support we BOTH received was truly spot on. The staff supported my partner just right, respectfully, never leaving her too long, but just long enough to have her time to deal with her emotions when the loss about to happen, when it happened and after it happened. All of the staff were superb and this, as strange as it may sound made it the easiest worst experience ever. They could not have supported my partner any better.
Despite our reasons for being there and again, this may sound strange, the experience was a positive one. The two main reasons for this were the wonderful staff and having the privacy and comfort of the SPRING suite. Both gave us just what we needed to help us deal with our loss. Having had this experience I can’t believe every hospital does not have one of these suites…it’s essential to the wellbeing of the parents going through the worst time of their lives.
I would just like to say a very big thank you to all whom looked after my partner and to SPRING for providing the suite. The two did their job in looking after her in the best possible way…thank you X